Therapy for Breakups and Divorce in NYC
I offer psychotherapy for breakups and divorce, available in person in Midtown Manhattan or virtually for residents of New York State.
A breakup or divorce can be one of the most emotionally difficult transitions in life. You may be grieving not only the person, but also the future with them you imagined.
You might be going back and forth between missing them, feeling angry, and wondering what went wrong.
Therapy for breakups and divorce is individual therapy focused on helping you navigate the emotional impact of the end of a relationship. It can give you a place to process grief, anger, confusion, loneliness, or relief and navigate your life after the relationship.
As with any form of grief, we will make room for denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance. Whatever you’re feeling right now is okay.
I can help you explore your attachment to the person and what they meant to you. As well as detach in a healthy way so you can reconnect with yourself and move forward.
Does this sound familiar?
Feeling unable to move on
Missing your ex even when you know the relationship wasn't right for you
Questioning whether you made the right decision
Feeling rejected, abandoned, angry, or betrayed
Trying to make sense of a relationship that ended without a clear explanation or resolution
Losing your sense of identity after a long-term relationship
Struggling with loneliness or being alone
Replaying what happened and wondering what you could have done differently
Difficulty letting go of hope that the relationship will return
Navigating contact with an ex, especially when you share children, friends, or a community
Dating again after a painful breakup
Feeling afraid that you'll repeat the same patterns in your next relationship
Adjusting to life after divorce
Feeling embarrassed or ashamed about how much the breakup still affects you
Managing changes in family, friendships, routines, or living arrangements
Struggling when friends or family say “you need to move on” when you don't feel ready
Feeling a strong urge to text or call them
Wondering whether your ex has moved on, is dating someone else, or still thinks about you
Struggling with the silence after being used to talking to someone every day
Feeling like you need to understand why they left, why they changed, or what went wrong
Looking for signs that your ex still cares or might come back
Having difficulty getting emotionally invested in someone new because part of you is still attached to your ex
Feeling guilty for feeling relieved after the relationship ended
Feeling like the breakup has affected your work, sleep, concentration, or motivation
Struggling to distinguish between missing the person and missing the relationship you hoped you would have
Trying to rebuild your confidence
My Framework for Breakups
Breakups can be incredibly difficult. You’re losing someone important to you, and like other forms of grief, the process can be confusing, messy, and nonlinear.
In my work with breakups, I integrate several evidence-informed approaches to help clients process and grieve the end of a relationship:
Attachment-Based Therapy & Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
We explore how your attachment system responds to the loss of a relationship; whether that looks like fear of abandonment, intense longing, numbness, self-blame, or repeatedly reaching for connection with your ex. Identifying the emotions and attachment needs underneath these reactions will help us work toward processing the loss and securely detaching.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
After a breakup, you may find yourself caught in rumination, “what if” questions, painful memories, or urges to check on or contact your ex. Rather than trying to get rid of these thoughts and feelings, I find it helpful to learn to notice them without automatically acting on them, and make room for these emotions that come with the loss. We’ll also identify what matters to you now and take concrete steps toward rebuilding your life and sense of self after the breakup.
Somatic Approaches
We pay attention to how grief, anxiety, and attachment distress show up physically. I help you notice and work with these sensations in the moment, using grounding, breathing, and other body-based techniques to regulate your nervous system.
Grief-Informed Work
I use the stages of grief as a framework for understanding the different experiences that can come with a breakup, while recognizing that grief is not linear and very personal. You may experience denial or disbelief, as it can take time for the reality of the loss to fully sink in. Anger may follow, directed toward your ex, yourself, or the circumstances of the breakup. You may also find yourself bargaining, replaying what happened, wondering what you could have done differently, or imagining ways the relationship might still be repaired.
As the loss becomes sinks in, sadness, loneliness, and emptiness may emerge. You may grieve not only the person but the future you thought you would have together. Over time, acceptance can involve recognizing that the relationship has ended and beginning to build a life that feels meaningful beyond it.
These experiences rarely happen in a predictable order. You might feel acceptance one day and find yourself missing your ex or bargaining with the past the next. In therapy, I can help you process and understand these emotions.
Frequently Asked Questions about Breakup and Divorce Therapy in New York City
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Not necessarily. Breakups are painful, and it's normal to need time to grieve and adjust. Therapy can be helpful when you're feeling stuck or unable to move forward, or noticing that the breakup is bringing up complicated emotions that are difficult to work through on your own. You don't need a diagnosis or a crisis to benefit from therapy.
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Breakup therapy can help you process the loss, understand what happened, work through difficult emotions, and make sense of patterns that may have shaped the relationship. It can also help you reconnect with yourself and build a clearer sense of what you want in future relationships.
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You don't have to be completely ready to let go before starting therapy. You may feel certain that the relationship is over one day and want your ex back the next. That is part of grieving too.
Therapy can help you understand those conflicting feelings without judging them, and explore what you truly want and what is healthiest for you.
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There is no set timeline for healing from a breakup. The length and intensity of the process can depend each person, the relationship itself, how it ended, and how significant the relationship was to you.
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Yes. It can be difficult to stop thinking about someone when a relationship has ended, especially when there are unanswered questions, unresolved feelings, or there was a strong emotional attachment. Therapy can help you understand what keeps pulling you back to the relationship and gradually create more room for your own life.
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Yes. A breakup can be an opportunity to reflect on patterns that may have developed in the relationship, including how you communicate, respond to conflict, seek closeness, set boundaries, or respond when you feel rejected or disconnected. Understanding these patterns can help you make different choices in future relationships.
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That's completely okay and normal. You don't have to commit to ongoing therapy just because you're thinking about reaching out.
I offer a free 15-minute consultation where you can tell me a little about what's been going on, ask questions, and get a sense of whether therapy with me feels like the right fit. There's no commitment to continue afterward.
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You can still experience grief after ending a relationship. Being the person who made the decision doesn't mean you won't feel sadness, guilt, doubt, loneliness, or even regret. Therapy can help you work through those feelings and understand your decision without reducing the experience to simply “right” or “wrong.”
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Yes. You don't have to have made a final decision before starting therapy. Individual therapy can give you an opportunity to explore what you're feeling and think through what you want without being told what decision to make.
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No. Your breakup or divorce may be an important part of what brings you to therapy, but therapy is ultimately about you. We can explore the relationship while also focusing on your emotions, identity, boundaries, relationships with others, and what you want your life to look like moving forward.
